I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
