My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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