She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
