the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Randomize
