Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
