Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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