that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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