Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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