I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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