He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
