If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
