She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
