Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
