Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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