I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
