I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
