are you still at the devil's house?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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