okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
