Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
