so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
