this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
