Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize