i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
