I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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