We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
