Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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