If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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