Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
