she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
