It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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