My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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