you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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