this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
