i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
