i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
