You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
