We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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