dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
