You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
