I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
