Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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