i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
another moral hangover. fuck.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
nutella sex= disaster
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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