hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
