Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize