O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
