My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
