hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
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