I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
