its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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