Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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