she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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