why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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