i think my mom watched the whole time
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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