dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
