NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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