Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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