so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
