What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We need to rekindle our bromance
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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