At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
