I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
