It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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