I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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