C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
