Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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